The daughters’ father poses as a teenage boy on social media

Q. My ex complains that I don’t limit our daughters’ social media enough. He filed a modification requesting that our equal parenting plan be changed to sole custody for him due to my “neglect” of our teenagers after school. I work full time and he ‘consults’ to make just enough to avoid paying child support. He claims that if he has them every day after school, he will talk to them, and they won’t be on their phones through social media.

My 15 year old just told me that she discovered that he had created a fake account and pretended to be a 16 year old boy, friended all her friends and asked all kinds of questions about her. She is mortified and now refuses to spend time with him.

My 13 year old sees the impact this is having on her sister and has just shut down all her social media and refuses to talk to him as well. He claims I’m alienating them. The divorce was a terrible process. I don’t know if I can do this again, but I feel like I have to protect my daughters. How can I help them?

A. You will need to file a counterclaim for modification requesting primary custody of your daughters and child support. Then file a motion asking the court to appoint an attorney for your children. Given their age and behavior, an advocate for the children is probably more appropriate than a Guardian Ad Litem. A lawyer will talk to them and argue for their position in court. Their attorney can conduct investigations and present evidence at hearings on behalf of the children. A Guardian Ad Litem would be tasked with conducting an investigation and making recommendations as to what parenting plan is in the best interests of the children. If the court denies the appointment of the attorney for the children, you can request a GAL.

For your custody case, you need to gather as much as you can about the fake profile your ex created and who he contacted. Ask which “friend” is the fake one, then see which parts of that profile are public. Take a screenshot of everything you can, in case he deletes his account. Back up your screenshots.

If your children don’t have a therapist yet, now is the time to arrange one. While it may come from a good place, his decisions here will likely have a serious impact on your children.

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